she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
