In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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