ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
