I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
