He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
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He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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