I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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