i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
