grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
