no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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