its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
