I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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