Don't you send me to vm
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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