exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
