yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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