wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
