That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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