I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i drank out of a bidet.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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