Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
