Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
The adults are the big ones right?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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