bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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