she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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