my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think your dad took our porno
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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