I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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