I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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