So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
