You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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