it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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