? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
