Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Mom said you looked used
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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