you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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