just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She told me I should be a condom model.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
