Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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