Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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