I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
