it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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