Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
