I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
