I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
