That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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