She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
