people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We just shotgunned beers for America
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
