hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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