I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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