wrigley field is MILF paradise
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
