I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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