I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
