party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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