They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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