my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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