She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
