There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
