Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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