Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
