Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
