We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize