one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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