Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
