that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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