508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
