Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
