Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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