I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
