So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
