This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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