New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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