Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize