Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Randomize
