Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
