Define "chronic" masturbator.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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